We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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