I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
