Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
