I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
