Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
