i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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