how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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