Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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