I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Randomize
