yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
