I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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