He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
