Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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