i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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