i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
