You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
