Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
