Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
