Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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