I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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