If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
