The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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