there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
from now on my penis is your penis
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
