Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
