His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
