I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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