we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
This baby is an asshole
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
