his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
