I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
