there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
