WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize