I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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