just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
