how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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