Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
