I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
no you cant smoke seaweed
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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