id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
