Buhtt sex?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize