Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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