how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
