He kissed a someone with a penis
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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