My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
