Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
