The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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