My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
