idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize