I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
