Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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