Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
