Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
